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Meet Queen Okafor, One of Nigeria's Hairiest Women and Nollywood's Next Movie Star (PHOTOS).

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Gorgeous Pose !!!
Queen Okafor is a unique woman with unique features. She has a rare endowment from nature. Looking at her, one would think she is a man, but she is a full blooded woman.  Queen, as her name suggests, has become a celebrity of sort whenever she steps out in public as the people stare at her in amazement.  Queen’s attraction is an abundance of hairs all over her body especially in the upper region- face, hands, chests etc. Although she was born without much hair on her body, she gradually began sprouting them at the age of 21 years. Today, at 26, Queen has done many things humanly possible to stop the abnormal growth, but to no avail. Narrating her experience, Queen said she started noticing the hair at unusual places at the age of 21. 

According to the Anambra  State born lady, she has seen the good, the bad and the ugly because of her abundant hairs. She said she has become the cynosure of all eyes wherever she goes, sometimes to her utter embarrassment. At one time, she narrated how a gay person approached her to have anal sex with her, promising to pay her a princely sum of N500,000. She said this was the most terrible encounter she has had on account of her hairs. She, of course, refused the offer.  She said even lesbians also “toast her” to hangout with her because they found her attractive in both ways, both as a man and as a woman.

When this reporter met Queen in a bus going to Oshodi from Mile 2, in Lagos some months ago, passengers were starring at her embarrassingly. As the lady tried to hide her face, more eyes were on her, thus arousing much interest from co-passengers.

Queen eventually opened up to this reporter, maintaining that she was not using the story to beg for money or as a form of publicity stunt, but only to draw the attention of  NGOs to fight for women with such rare disability as hers. Queen believes that she is a normal person with unwanted recognition from the society.
She told Sunday Sun: “My name is Queen Nonyerem Okafor. I am from Anambra State. We are five children from our parents, three girls and two boys. I inherited the hairs from my mum and it runs in the family.  Once you get to 21 to 23 years  in our family, you start experiencing hair growth.  I am 26 years old now, when I was in secondary school, much hairs were not on my body. It started when I finished my secondary school. I am not granting you this interview as if I need help or money, no! I want to tell my story and what it means to be a hairy woman. All I need is for an NGO to take up my case as a woman with abnormal conditions and also to act in the movie industry.”

She revealed to Sunday Sun that the change on her skin initially made her uncomfortable, but following advice from good people, her confidence was boosted.  In her words: “The first time it started to grow on my body, I was ashamed, but someone advised me that I shouldn’t bother, that it is a blessing not a curse. The person told me that I am unique, besides, wherever I go, I would be recognised. She advised me that I shouldn’t be ashamed, rather that I should be proud of myself. It was her that gave me strength and boosted my self esteem.

Some people think that I am a man. Some think I fixed my breast to deceive people. Men especially find it difficult to believe that I am a woman. It was when we interact that most men are reassured that I am a woman. It has made me to be very popular and recognised in public. It has boosted my confidence to socialize. People want to identify with me to know the stuff I am made of. Some want to find out where this girl is coming from. People call and dash me money because of my hairy nature, but I don’t beg for money.”

Queen said she tried to stop the work of nature by applying all sorts of cosmetics and native substances, all to no avail but it turned out to cause more harm than good. “Before the advice came, I was asking God why all these now? I was thinking of what to rub  to clear the hair from my skin. I rubbed tortoise faeces and a lot of things people recommend for me to use, but it didn’t remove them, rather it caused more harm than good as I started growing bumps and sores while the hair was still coming out. So, I stopped rubbing those things. I suffered those lumps trying to stop the growth,” she narrated.

She revealed that her worst time comes when the weather is too hot  and during the dry season. “When there is much heat, I feel terrible, it doesn’t itch but it really inconveniences me most times. That`s why I have to wear or put on light cloths because sweat soaks my dress when I go out. Once you see me, you know that heat is dealing with me as a result of my hairy skin. I used to shave it off but if I want to shave all, it will cause me lumps all over my body. She said she had not taken the medical option seriously. “I have not gone to hospital. I don’t care anymore because it is from within my blood and it is  hereditary. I don’t need it because I can`t be using my money on something that refuses to free me. A doctor had advised that surgery can remove it, but not in Nigeria. Maybe outside the country, but I am not interested.”

Queen revealed that her hair has not changed anything in her love life, neither does it stop men from admiring her, rather it has turned many heads to look at her. “A man that is meant for me will come when the time comes. It is not a problem. I will get married, after all, there are other disabled people that are married despite their condition. When I was 18 or 19 years old, I was supposed to have married, but it was just that the man was a hot tempered person. He was my suitor and we ended it there. He was seeing the hair coming little by little. People are appreciating me and a lot of people are still coming for my hand in marriage.  I have been seeing many men coming to ask me for relationship, even one claimed he is from a European country that he came back to Nigeria to look for a woman to marry. But most men just want a fling, they don’t want serious relationship. I was doubting if he was real or not. I have admirers just like every other girl. Most times, I have admires more than normal girls.

But most men are not sincere,  my mother would say that love is not by lip service. I have been hearing things like, I want to marry you, but after sleeping with you, the man will end up dumping you for another woman. My boyfriend likes me the way I look and I have not been dumped because I am hairy. Men don’t break my heart. I don’t trust men easily because I wouldn’t allow myself to have emotional breakdown. I can`t wait for my heart to be broken. In my village, an old woman has advised that she knows that I am not yet married, but I should believe that my own person is coming. She said that when my husband will come, I will find it difficult to believe that the man is my own. She told me that is how her own daughter looks. But now I have come to appreciate how I am created,” she said.

Narrating her most embarrassing moment in high density locations like market places, she disclosed that people crave to see her face. “I came to Lagos last year to see whether I can stay in Lagos or not. Other times I have been coming and going. But the truth is that I have been enjoying my stay in Lagos now because something good is happening. Anytime I go out, people will notice my presence and look at me. For instance, the first time I went to Ladipo Market, people besieged me, both traders and touts snapping me with their phones and video. You would be shocked how they gathered and caused chaotic situation that day, you would have written it as big news, to the extent that I went to a shopping complex and they started clapping for me, calling me Eze Nwanyi, which means Queen. They were hailing me so much. It was the most embarrassing day of my life.

The traders and touts left what they were doing to follow me around and saying all sorts of things, if not for one man that offered to give us a lift, we wouldn’t have escaped those boys. There was a time I went to Alaba International Market with a sister and traders were peeping through the window to see my face and they were saying, ‘she is all hairs oh!’ Someone has stepped down from a bus because of me, a lady. Both of us were entering a bus at Mile 2 and immediately she glanced at me she changed her mind and immediately alighted from the bus despite that the bus conductor was urging her to enter, that was the only time someone refused to ride in the same bus with me.

Queen whose dream is to become an actress, said she was forced to resign because of sexual harassment from her employer. “If I have the opportunity of becoming an actress, I can do that but it is to get the right person to help me. I need somebody to help me because I am perfect in everything I do. I need someone to put me through but people tell me that for some producers or directors, all they are after is to sleep with you.  I have not encountered that yet, but people have been telling me to be careful. People get easily attracted to me.


The dark complexioned Queen shocked the reporter with her revelation on how homosexuals plead to take her to bed. She also explained why she pierced her nose.  “Why I pieced my nose was because it is fashionable, though I know I look weird already, I don’t give a hoot. It is my body,  I accept the fact that I am strange. A woman has toasted me at Elegushi Beach while I was there with my friends. On that day, she called me and gave me her complimentary card and begged me to hop into her car, but I refused. She insisted and begged to be my friend, but my mind told me that she is a lesbian and she was inviting me to Ajah. I turned her offer down because I know that most lesbians are into cultism. Some women will see me and extol my qualities, saying that they see women with hairs but that my own is the highest. In fact, one said I am the queen of hairy women.

I met a guy at a supermarket and he was obsessed about me, before you knew it, he started telling me that he liked me, that I am beautiful and all that. Normal toasting, I thought he was like every other man as usual,  but after the toasting, he went straight to the point, to tell me that he would like to have sex with me through my anus, promising to give me half a million naira. But I rejected it immediately, God forbid! I can`t tamper with my anus.  I stopped seeing him and refused to pick his calls. I can`t do that. Another man begged me to bear him a child that will look like me, also promising to reward me handsomely. When I am praying, I plea with God to help me overcome them. Nobody can rape me because I am fearful, but men see me and get sexually aroused because I look special because of the hairy skin, but I have not been embarrassed or raped. Being hairy gives me protection as people see me and get afraid of me. Those guys who attack people see me and hail me. They will not like to do anything bad to me.

Culled from Sunnewsonline

Women Groups Protest Against Torture Of Ejigbo Women; Petitions Lagos Assembly (PHOTOS).

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Women advocacy groups yesterday marched in protest against the violent torture and sodomization of two women at Ejigbo over alleged stealing of pepper. The Women Arise group presented horrible clip of the sodomy to participants during the protest and also presented copies of the video in Compact Disk to members of the Lagos State House of Assembly, who were also handed a petition demanding investigation and justice for the affected women.


The protesters created a catchphrase/hashtag "#Ejigbo2" to popularize the incidence and specifically to constant follow-up to just end.


Receiving the protesters, the Lagos House reps promised to move a motion today and set up a committee to immediately commence investigation into the incidence. The reps said chairman of the Ejigbo local government, Mr. Kehinde Bamigbetan; all the market women in Ejigbo central market as well as all concerned in the incidence will be called to the panel.


Women Arise and other leaders of the protest will also be invited to the panel.


The petition by Women Arise group to the Lagos House of reps is reproduced below:

Attention:  Mr. Ikuforiji Adeyemi,
Speaker,
Lagos State House of Assembly,
Alausa, Ikeja,
Lagos.
Mr Speaker Sir,
PETITION ON THE DEHUMANIZATION OF TWO WOMEN IN EJIGBO, LAGOS STATE

The above Subject refers:

We are Women Arise for Change Initiative and we herein petition your good offices on behalf of two Nigerian women and Lagos State Residents in Ejigbo, hereafter referred to as “The Victims,” who sometimes this year were subjected to one of the most vicious forms of human rights abuses and the unspeakable horrors of brutality by certain depraved and savage men.

Indeed, there was outrage across the nation and around the world when video shots of the victims stripped naked, and being mercilessly beaten with pepper and sodomised with strange objects went viral (Attached is a Video CD of the sordid scenes).

As Nigerians and fellow citizens of the world watched the horrific scenes, they wondered if these were shots taken in the dark ages of savagery and primitivism.

Strangely enough, a Statement this month by the Chairman of Ejigbo LCDA, Kehinde Bamigbetan at the height of the furore, acknowledged that this unimaginable horror took place in his domain in February this year, and that the victims were a mother and step daughter accused of stealing pepper, and that the husband and father was a palm-wine tapper; but Bamigbetan’s Statement sadly to say, failed to outline the measures his office had taken since then to assure justice for the victims and ensure that the perpetrators are punished. Ironically, it is the same Bamigbetan whose gruesome kidnap few months back elicited genuine emotions and public goodwill, and the Lagos State Government and concerned Nigerians spared nothing to guarantee his release, and bring the kidnappers to book. Why did he appear to have turned a blind eye over the ordeal of the victims, and why is he just acknowledging to the public these atrocities after ten good months? Or is that the victims lives are of no value to him because they are pepper sellers from the household of Mr. Palm-wine tapper?

Women Arise for Change Initiative hold the belief that all peoples, including women are created equal by the Almighty, and they are therefore equal before the law; women’s rights are human rights.

To this end, we request and urge you to kindly use your good offices to set up an inquiry into this shameful incident and compel the Ejigbo LCDA Chairman, Kehinde Bamigbetan to share his knowledge of the crime and what he has done in tracking down the purveyors of these bestialities so that they can be brought to justice; adequate provisions must also be made to rehabilitate the victims, peradventure they survived these cruelties.

We strongly believe that there is a redemptive value for Lagos State in fishing out these criminals for punishment so that the State is not seen as a haven for atrocious human rights abuses, where barbaric and savage acts are tolerated by government officials; that is surely not a good face to present to potential investors and tourists to the commercial hub of the nation.

This is certainly one issue that will not die until justice is done, and we trust that you will act quickly and ably, and use your good offices to ensure that justice is done, for justice too long delayed is justice denied.
Thank you in anticipation of your prompt action.

Yours Faithfully,

Dr. Joe Okei-Odumakin
President
Women Arise for Change Initiative
26, Adebowale Street,
Ojodu-Berger,
Lagos.
Website: www.womenarise.org,
www.campaign4democracy.org.






Culled from Sahara Reporters

Sessilee Lopez Covers Fashizblack

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American model, Sessilee Lopez, who has appeared in Vogue and graced one of the four covers of its "All Black" issue, while Naomi Campbell, Liya Kebede, and Jourdan Dunn graced the alternative ones, covered the September 2013 issue of Flashizblack magazine “Fashion Star”, view the behind the scenes footage below.


VIDEO


Credit Fashizblack

WOZA! Rapper eLDee Advocates For Gay Right!

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 In support of Virgin Group CEO, Richard Branson, rapper eLDee wrote;

"Hopefully, one day soon, Africa will realize that the #anti-gay sentiment is no different from racial or religious discrimination. #RaceCreedSexualOrientation #Discrimination


Sesan Ogunro On How His Father Was Gunned Down By Robbers!

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One of the late son of Advertisng guru and MD Eminent Communications,Mr Sesan Ogunro, Timayo, has recounted how his father was killed.

He said: “It was a night of Christmas carol at the church. After the main carol service, people went down to eat. There was a man who tried to steal some money from someone and my father caught him. Other deacons and the minister of God started talking to the guy about what happened. That took some time.

“So, as this continued, people started to leave the church premises. Eventually, it was just myself, my mum and my dad, some children and a few disciples of the church who remained behind.

“My dad said I should take my mum and the children home, since it was getting late. We went outside and my mum remembered that she left some water in my dad’s car.

So, my dad went to get the water from across the road. As I was about to open the door for everyone to get in, the gunmen came in a blue Sienna. I saw what happened but I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

“There were five of them. They spread out. Three of them came to me and hit me. I went down and gave them everything in my hand, including the car keys. I went down with my mum and the kids while two of the attackers walked up to my dad. He wanted to take the keys to his car but my dad told them: ‘Just take it; just take it.’ You know these guys: obviously, they were high and they just shot him.”

A church member, Mr Sola Martins, said someone called him after leaving the church that he should call the police because there was shooting at the church premises.

Martins said he received another call, as he was attempting to rush to the church premises, that Ogunro had been shot and that he should call the police.

According to the church member, he reported the matter to the police and later joined the family at the Apapa hospital, where Ogunro died.

Lagos State Police Command’s spokesperson Ngozi Braide, a Deputy Superintendent (DSP) said: “About 22:42 hours (10 pm) on December 22, a distress call was received by the Alausa Division of the police command. It was gathered that four armed men operating in a Honda Odyssey attempted to snatch a Mercedes Benz ML jeep belonging to Mr Ogunro.

“The man resisted and threw away the key of the jeep, hence the armed men shot him. They abandoned the Honda Odyssey and escaped with a red Toyota Yaris car belonging to the wife, who was standing with him on the scene.

“The scene was visited immediately by the Divisional Police Officer (DPO) and a team and the incident was confirmed. The DPO also visited the victim at the Lagoon Hospital where he was receiving treatment, though critical.”

She said none of the relatives had made a statement on the incident.

The police spokesperson explained that the Honda Odyssey was confirmed to have been snatched from somebody identified as Ali Balogun at Ebute-Metta at 8pm.

The owner was reportedly dropped on Jobi-Fele Way in Alausa, Ikeja, from where she was taken to the station.

Braide said the police had begun investigation into the incident and the search for the fleeing hoodlums.

Culled from CKNNigeria

Governor Fashola Pays Condolence Visit To The Ogunro Family | Tinubu Sends Condolence (PHOTOS).

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Lagos State Governor, Mr. Babatunde Fashola (SAN) on Tuesday paid a condolence visit to the family of the late Advertising giant, Mr. Sesan Ogunro (Snr) who was killed by unidentified assailants on Sunday evening at Alausa, at their Ogudu GRA residence. The Governor was received by the widow, Mrs Dupe Ogunro and the children of the deceased including Mrs Damilola Gbadebo-Ogunro, Mr Timayo Ogunro and Miss Fade Ogunro, described Mr. Ogunro as a truly restless spirit and a master of his art.

The former governor of Lagos State, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, who hired Ogunro’s Eminent Communications to handle the 2007 campaign for Fashola’s election also sent a condolence message to the family. Read below.

"I received with deep sadness the shocking news of the brutal murder of a close friend, brother and comrade, Sesan Ogunro. Since the sad news broke I have had cause to ponder about how dangerous and unsafe the county we live in is. He was very committed, humble and progressively minded. He was humane and very concerned about people"

“Through the Abiola years he was front and center in the struggle for the enthronement of democracy in Nigeria. Later he also played a central role before and during my tenure as governor of Lagos. My heart bleeds in part for the loss of such a brilliant and talented man. In another part my heart bleeds for our county Nigeria and for many of our innocent citizens who will be gruesomely murdered in similar fashion in the days and months ahead. There must be a way to stop this hemorrhage and wastage of our best minds. Security of lives should be a top priority agenda by the government with stiffer penalties for those who hold and use guns illegally."

“Though dead Sesan will never be forgotten. He lived an impactful life that touched family , relatives, associates and colleagues. “


Merry Christmas Everyone | Read Sir Ahmadu Bello's (Sardauna) Christmas Message To Northern Christians In 1959.

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May this Christmas brings down the curtain of 2013 on a cheerful note and open up a brilliant & bright new 2014 in our lives. MerryChristmas and a Happy New Year from Olayinka Olubambo Ogunshe - AlabamaU2. Read Sir AhmaduBello's (Sardauna) Christmas message to Northern Christians in 1959 below.

''We are people of many different races, tribes and
religions, who are knit
together by common
history, common interests
and common ideals.

Our diversity may be great but the things that
unite us are stronger than the things that divide us.

On an occasion like this, I
always remind people
about our firmly rooted
policy on religious
tolerance. Families of all creeds and colour can rely
on these assurances.

We have no intention of favouring one religion at
the expense of another.

Subject to overriding need to preserve law and order, it is our
determination that everyone should have
absolute liberty to practice his beliefs.

It is befitting on this momentous day, on behalf of my ministers
and myself, to send a
special word of gratitude
to all Christian missions.

Let me conclude this with a personal message. I
extend my greetings to all our people who are
Christians on this great
feast day. Let us forget the difference in our religion and
 remember the common brotherhood
before God, by dedicating
ourselves afresh to the
great tasks which lie before us. --SIR AHMADU BELLO SARDAUNAN SOKOTO,
PREMIER NORTHERN REGION IN 1959.

Mercy Aigbe-Gentry Welcomes a New Born Baby (PHOTO).

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Actress Mercy Aigbe-Gentry shared the picture above with - 'Love my Baby! That's my baby!😍😍😍😍😍' For now, I am not sure if she's saying the truth or just joking. Mrs Gentry who has not said word about the picture has been receiving congratulatory messages from her fans home and abroad. Later on, a lady claimed the baby is her God child.

Woman Loses 7-Months Pregnancy After Alleged Kick From Lebanese Boss (PHOTO).

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Culled from Punch

A 34-year-old woman, Mrs. Alexandra Ossai, has accused her Lebanese boss, Kaveh Noine, of causing her to lose her seven-month-pregnancy after he kicked her in the stomach.

Ossai, who until December 13, 2013, was a supervisor with a Lebanese owned firm, Toppan Printing Company, alleged that Noine assaulted her many times during her eight months stay at the company.

Currently at a private hospital in the Fagba area of Lagos State, Ossai told PUNCH Metro that she had undergone emergency surgery four days after the kick to save her life as her placenta was said to have been damaged.

She said, “I started working at Toppan in April. I earn N17,000 salary and work from Monday to Saturday. Anytime Noine was annoyed, he would beat the person he was angry with. Sometimes, he would throw whatever he can lay his hands on at the person. Prior to that incident, Noine had slapped me many times.

“Noine had said he would hold me responsible for the shortcomings of the people I supervised. As a result, I often assisted my subordinates in their duties to make sure that Noine had nothing to complain about.”

Ossai said on December 12 2013, Noine had flown into a rage when he noticed something on the floor in her section.

“It was a container for a drug. That is what we do; we produce packets for drugs and perfumes. So when Noine saw one of such packets on the floor, he was so angry that he gave me a blow to the chest,” she recalled.

She said Noine subsequently went into his office and typed a termination letter for Ossai, which she refused to sign. Her refusal allegedly enraged him further and after verbally abusing her, he was said to have told her that it was her last warning.

The following day, Ossai ran into Noine while coming from his secretary’s office. Noine allegedly dragged Ossai back to the office and called her a wicked woman.

Ossai said, “He said I looked like a mad person. After abusing me, he hit me on my neck twice. Then, without warning, he kicked my stomach with his knee.  Some co-workers were there but they did not intervene. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach.”

The mother of one, whose younger brother and sister also worked in the same company, said she prevailed on her siblings not to attack Noine when they heard the news.

“I never for once told my husband what I was going through at work. I didn’t want him to come and fight Noine. I pleaded with my siblings not to fight,” Ossai said.

Although the pains eventually subsided after two days, it was learnt that in the early hours of Monday, Decemebr 16, 2013, Ossai began to bleed. She was rushed to a private clinic at Fagba. She was told that her placenta had been damaged as a result of the kick and that she had to undergo emergency surgery to save her life.

She said, “I didn’t know that my baby had died until two days after the surgery. I was told my baby lost his face too due to the kick.”

She said a report was made at the Area F police command the following day by her aunt, Mrs. Olabisi Jaiyeoba.

Jaiyeoba said, “When Ossai’s husband and I were refused entry into the company, we went to report to the police. They accompanied us there and even had to force their way in. The administrative manager lied that Noine had travelled out of the country. But as of that Tuesday, he was still in the country. It was later that we learned that he travelled last Friday.”

Efforts to get a response from the Deputy Manager of Toppan printing Company, Mr. Abass Al-Souki, proved abortive as his phone number indicated that it was unreachable.

However, the admin manager, who declined to identify herself, told PUNCH Metro that the factory was closed for the Christmas holidays.

She said, “We closed for the holidays last Friday and would reopen on January 8 2013. I would not like to speak on that matter because it is already with the police. Also our company lawyer is on it. You can only get across to our management in January 2014.”

Legal counsel for Toppan, Mrs. Nnebe, said that she could not comment on the matter.

She said, “It would be best if you wait for the police to conclude their investigation. Ossai has only made an allegation. Let the police finish their investigation and then we would give our response.”

The Lagos State Police Public Relations Officer, DSP Ngozi Braide, said, “The incident which occurred on Thursday was not reported to the police until Tuesday. It took about five days before it was reported. So when the police arrived at the suspect’s workplace, they were informed that he had travelled. It took a long time for the complainant to report the matter. But we are investigating.”

Mercy Aigbe-Gentry Still Rocking Her $10,000 Chanel Lego Clutch (PHOTOS).

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Mercy Aigbe-Gentry don't give a damn about critics! Her beautiful dress is by Abbyke Domina of 'House of Dominus & Domina Fashion Designer. You can get in touch with her via 08102616523, abikeadedeji@yahoo.com. See another picture of Mrs Gentry, and more dresses by Abbyke Domina below.




Lesbian Penguin Couple Found At Israel Zoo (PHOTOS + VIDEO)

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Zookeepers at the Ramat Gan Zoo were sure they were dealing with just another penguin couple until a routine blood test revealed a surprise finding.

Both the penguins were female.

Mor Porat, a keeper at the Tel Aviv zoo, said she had heard of male penguins coupling but never two females.

She initially suspect the pairing was down to a lack of potential male mates in the enclosure.

"This is not the reason. If they wanted to choose a male they could have done it."

Porat said zookeepers knew the pair were a couple because of their behaviour over the last few months.

"This is something very special."


"They walk together all the time. They're showing some courtship behaviour. They're cleaning each other. Singing to each other. Building their own nest. For a period of some months or so they were acting like they're nesting."

VIDEO



Culled from Nzherald

Kareena Kapoor Khan attends Midnight Mass with Family (PHOTOS).

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Everyone's darling star actress Kareena Kapoor Khan attended the midnight mass on Christmas eve in Mumbai, along with her bubbly mother Babitha, sister Karisma, nephew Kiaan Raj Kapoor and niece Samiera Kapoor. Kareena and Karisma have been following this tradition every year for mom Babitha, who is a practising Christian. More photos below.














Image credit PinkVilla

How Do You Tell Your Child You Are In A Lesbian Relationship?

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The Hollywood actress Maria Bello (right) with her partner Clare Munn

The Hollywood actress Maria Bello was dreading telling her son she was in a romantic relationship with her best female friend - but knew she couldn't hide it forever.

When my 12-year-old son, Jackson, asked me if there was something I wasn’t telling him, I replied, “There are a lot of things I don’t tell you.”

“Like what?”

“Adult stuff.”

He persisted: “What kind of adult stuff?”

This was the moment I had been anticipating, dreading for months. “Like romantic stuff,” I said, fumbling for words.

 “What kind of romantic stuff?”

“Well,” I said. “Like how sometimes you can be friends with someone, and then it turns romantic, and then you’re friends again. Like with Dad and me. Or romantic like Bryn and me were, and then he and I became friends.”

“So are you romantic with anyone right now?” he asked.

I took a deep breath, knowing that my answer, and his response, would have an impact on our lives for a very long time.

He was right; I was with someone romantically and I hadn’t told him. I had become involved with a woman who was my best friend, and, as it happens, a person who’s like a godmother to my son.

How and when should I tell him? When I explained the situation to a therapist, she smiled and said, “Your son may say a lot of things about you when he’s older, but he will never say his mother was boring.” Her advice was to wait until he asked. And now here he was, asking.

About a year before this conversation, I had been sitting in my garden in California, looking through photos and old journals I have kept since childhood. From a green tattered notebook with ink hearts drawn on it to the one I started in Haiti while helping after the earthquake there in January 2010, the journals told stories that seemed woven together by a similar theme.

I read about the handful of men and the one woman I had been in romantic relationships with, passages rife with pain and angst. It seemed when I was physically attracted to someone, I would put them in the box of being my “soul mate” and then be crushed when things didn’t turn out as I had hoped.

I read about the two men I fell for while working on films. I was sure each was my soul mate, a belief fuelled by sexual attraction that made me certain I was in love, only to find that when the filming ended, so did the relationship.

And I read about the man who asked me to marry him four years ago over the phone, before we had even kissed. Three months later we were in his kitchen throwing steaks at each other’s heads in anger.

As I continued to look through photos, I came across a black-and-white one of my best friend and me taken one New Year’s Eve. We looked so happy, I couldn’t help but smile. I remembered how we had met two years before; she was sitting in a bar wearing a fedora and speaking in her Zimbabwean accent.

We had an immediate connection but didn’t think of it as romantic or sexual. She was one of the most beautiful, charming, brilliant and funny people I had ever met, but it didn’t occur to me, until that soul-searching moment in my garden, that we could perhaps choose to love each other romantically. What had I been waiting for all of these years? She is the person I like being with the most, the one with whom I am most myself.

The next time I saw her, in New York, I shared my confusing feelings, and we began the long, painful, wonderful process of trying to figure out what our relationship was supposed to be.

First, how would it affect my son? He trusted Clare. He loved her. He had never met most of the men I had been in love with and had no idea I had been with a woman as well. Second, how would it affect my career? I have never defined myself by whom I slept with, but I know others have and would.

It’s hard for me even to define the term “partner”. For five years I considered my partner to be a friend then in his seventies, John Calley, with whom I talked daily. He was the one who picked me up each time I had a breakdown about another failed romance. Because we were platonic, did that make him any less of a partner?

And I have never understood the distinction of “primary” partner. Does that imply we have secondary and tertiary partners, too? Can my primary partner be my sister or child or best friend, or does it have to be someone I am having sex with?

I have two friends who are sisters who have lived together for 15 years and raised a daughter. Are they not partners because they don’t have sex? And many married couples I know haven’t had sex for years. Are they any less partners?

My feelings for Clare aren’t the same as the butterflies-in-the-stomach, angst-ridden love I have felt before; they are much deeper than that. As we grew closer, my desire for her grew stronger until, after a few months, I decided to share the truth of our relationship with my large, Italian-Polish, “traditional” Philadelphia family.

My father’s response came between puffs of his cigar while we sat on the roof of a casino in Atlantic City. “She’s a good girl, good for you,” he said. My mother and family echoed his sentiments. Maybe they weren’t so traditional after all.

Maria Bello (left) with her ex-boyfriend, the film producer Dan McDermott, her girlfriendClare Munn, and her son with McDermott, Jackson, in a picture she posted on Twitter

My feelings about attachment and partnership have always been that they are fluid and evolving. Jack's father, Dan, will always be my partner because we share Jack. Dan is the best father and the most wonderful man I’ve known. Just because our relationship is nonsexual doesn’t make him any less of a partner.

We share the same core values, including putting our son first. My more recent ex, Bryn, remains my partner because we share our activism. And Clare will always be my partner because she is also my best friend.

This past summer I was very ill. At one point it looked as if I might not survive. But the people who were at my bedside every day at the hospital were many of my life partners: my mother, Jackson, Dan, my brother Chris, and Clare.

Clare rarely left my side and called every doctor and connection she knew to help figure out what was wrong with me. It was Dan who brought our son to see me every day and kept him feeling safe in such a scary situation. It was Chris whose arms I fell into when I couldn’t get up. It was my mother who stroked my head for hours at a time. And it was Jackson who walked me through the halls with my IV and made me breathe.

So back to Jackson’s question, with me sitting on the edge of his bed. Was I romantic with anyone right now? I exhaled and finally said it: “Clare.”

He looked at me for what seemed like an eternity and then broke into a huge, warm smile. “Mom, love is love, whatever you are,” he said with wisdom beyond his years.

I loved him so much for saying that.

“But Jack, I’m a little scared,” I said. “When I was younger, people judged you if you were in a romantic relationship with a person of the same sex, and some still do. So I’m not sure how to deal with this. But we’ll figure it out together.”

And we have figured it out together: Jack, Clare, Dan and I. It’s a rare weekend when we aren’t piled in the same car, driving to one of Jack’s soccer tournaments. Dan makes fun of Clare for getting lost and she makes sure he always has the umbrellas, sunscreen, water, nuts and whatever else we might need in a nuclear disaster.

We have dinner together almost every night. As I write this, we’re basking in the afterglow of Dan’s 50th birthday party that Clare, Jackson and I gave, which was attended by his family and mine and many other people I consider partners in one aspect of my life or another. It was a room of celebration and unconditional love.

So I would like to consider myself a “whatever”, as Jackson said. Whomever I love, however I love them, whether they sleep in my bed or not, or whether I do homework with them or share a child with them, “love is love”. And I love our modern family.

Maybe, in the end, a modern family is just a more honest family.

Culled from Telegraph.co.uk

80 Nigerian Deportees Arrive Nigeria From Saudi Arabia

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The first batch of 80 Nigerians to be repatriated from Saudi Arabia arrived at the Nnamid Azikiwe International Airport, Abuja, today.

The deportees reportedly arrived in the country on board an Ethiopian Airline plane at about noon.

Mr Daniel Obot, the Assistant Director, Relief and Rehabilitation, National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA), told newsmen at the Airport that the deportees were part of the 508 Nigerians residing illegally in Saudi Arabia.

He said the Federal Government approved their repatriation after they voluntarily agreed to return home, adding that they would be handed over to officials of their State Emergency Management Agency after due clearance.

Also speaking to newsmen, the Director Consular and Immigration Services in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Mr Abdulazeez Dan-Kano, said the 80 deportees were from eight states of the country.

Dan-Kano said that 31 of the deportees are from Kano State, 19 from

Borno, three from Bauchi State and eight from Jigawa.

Similarly, he said that seven of the deportees are from Yobe, two from Plateau, nine from Katsina State and one from Nasarawa State.

Dan-Kano said that those deported were mainly women, children and the sick.

He said that more deportees were expected to arrive in the country on Thursday.

Dan Kano said that the deportees indicated their interest to return to Nigeria following a November deadline issued by the Saudi Authorities for all illegal immigrants to leave the country.

He said that 951 other Nigerians arrested by the Saudi authorities were being held in a camp in the country, and that they would return home at the instance of the Saudi government. (NAN)

Culled from Vanguard

Dignitaries and Celebrities at The Lagos Countdown Karaoke Night (PHOTOS).

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It’s all about living and loving in Lagos this Christmas season as Lagos Countdown staged arguably the biggest and longest fireworks display & Karaoke Night in Africa with dignitaries and celebrities in attendance, the way its done at London’s London Eye, Australia’s Harbour Bridge and New York’s Times Square, at the Bar-beach in Victoria Island. See more photos below.


































SEE Actress Sikiratu Sindodo’s Pretty 16-Year Old Daughter (PHOTOS).

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Isn't she pretty? At least she's away prettier than Genevieve Nnaji's daughter! She's just the black version of her mum! Opps! Did I just write that !!!More photos below.




Oba Riliwanu Akiolu, Governor Fashola, Funmi Iyanda and More Attend The Official Flag Off of The 2013 Lagos Countdown (PHOTOS).

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The paramount cultural sovereign of Lagos, His Royal Majesty, Oba Riliwanu Babatunde Akiolu 1, Lagos State Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola (SAN) and award-winning broadcaster, journalist and columnist, Olufunmilola Aduke Iyanda among other dignitaries attended the official flag off of the 2013 Lagos Countdown. See more photos from the beautiful event below.



















Mercy Aigbe-Gentry Takes Kids Out On Christmas Day (PHOTOS).

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The pretty actress and proud mother took to her Instagram timeline to share some pictures of herself and her kids, Adunola and Olajuwon Gentry, on Christmas Day. See more photos below.




Dayo Amusa, Biodun Okeowo and Other Spotted Without Make-Up (PHOTOS).

I fasted for 10 months to become governor – Rotimi Amaechi

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Singing unto the Lord !!!
Rivers State Governor and Chairman of the Nigerian Governors’ Forum, Mr. Rotimi Amaechi urged the people to disregard those who claimed to be responsible for his emergence as the governor of the state. He said God, and not man, installed him as the state governor because he fasted and prayed for 10 months before he became the governor. Read below.

“As a government led by me, a government installed by Christ, if anybody tells you he installed me, tell him it is a lie. Tell him that I said I prayed for 10 months and I fasted from 6am to 6pm, calling on Christ to come down and Christ came down mightily and installed me as governor. That is why you can see that in the face of human effrontery, I have been able to stand face to face with them and I say I have Christ in me. You must rise in that same spirit of having Christ in you and confront those who are confronting you. You must stand up for Christ because the Bible says ‘faith without work is dead."

Culled from Punch
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